Several highly respected books on ‘awakening’ advise that once the impossibility of a separate self-entity has been irrefutably seen, ‘identification’ needs to shift from that illusory person to the ‘watcher’ or ‘witness’, and that further along the path, this witness will dissolve into pure primordial Awareness – which is what One truly is.
I find this quite illogical. I just don’t get it, never did; I missed this step, totally.
Having met the impossibility of ‘my’ separate existence, the impossibility of an independent object called by my name here, there or anywhere, past present or future, just who would this person with ability to identify with anything BE?
Who could become the ‘watcher’ or ‘witness’ – or for that matter, emptiness?
Identification was suddenly as obsolete as the old ‘me’ and it took off – taking self and no-self with it – when it was clearly seen that wild wideawakeness is the only player in this game, and that that wideawakeness – aka natural, naked aware-ing – is none other than ‘I’.
The ‘I’ casts off the illusion of ‘I’
and yet remains as ‘I’,
such is the paradox of Self-realization.
~ Sri Ramana Maharshi
thoughts are ceaselessly arising:
the ones that get attention
w o w
I’m cozy on my zafu. It’s 4am
There’s already a concert in progress –
Kookaburra-call is the overture, raucously interrupting the murmur of toad-talk, frog-gurgle and insect-drone.
One by one the players in the beaked and feathered orchestra strike up. Sleepily at first, testing and tuning their instruments, then with confident joy shouting across to their mates with notes ever sharper and more insistent:
quick – you’ll miss
the silvering-into-gold full moon
slip below the western rim!
I throw on a shirt
stand tree-posed with the rising sun
breathing on my back.
My hair streams upwards
I sink like liquid light
below the palm-draped horizon.
vast eyes are eyes wideawake
embodying the view
of pregnant emptiness
perception’s toolbox creates
the time and space in which
the world of ‘I’ can arise
vast eyes marry the ‘I’ of ‘me’
with the ‘I’ of everything
and so the view unfolds:
I – I
There was a shift.
The big breath that ceaselessly moves around the earth changed its path.
It exhaled a new perfume.
Its touch on the skin was clammy.
It called and I could not refuse.
Out I went, took up tree pose beneath the Poincianas,
waiting, in the company of a host of parched and thirsting creatures,
scaly ones, crawling and slithering ones,
feathered and furling ones,
all of us wrapped in the dry embrace of cracked earth.
It came, a surging orgasm of blessed benediction.
It roared its song in shimmers through
the wetlands of my body.
The raw awareingness of my senses,
inseparable from those of tree and earth
bird and beetle,
is saturated in wild wet delight!
I seek a shift in common language,
a way to say what is actually meant
I speak of I, but don’t mean I
as a thing
I speak of it as that (mystery)
which manifests function and
I speak of I as ‘It’
but this ‘It’ is no-thing either, yet thought
would instantly turn it into a thing in
time and space
I as ‘It’ occupies neither time nor
space, yet – magician that it is –
manifests both in order to
show up for the party
I as ‘It’ is never caught napping;
ever-present ‘I’ is an eternal insomniac,
resting as unknowable Knowingness
and wideawake – to the n
everything rises and falls
appears and disappears
within this ocean of unchanging Awareness
mind rises there too: a handy concept,
just another four-letter word
no better, no worse than any other
the resurrection is the knowing that one’s wideawake
has no preferences
and the ascension is the recognition of one’s own dear self