unimaginable: unfurling unlit light

177

In the deep darkness of night – no slumber in sight – bum sits on cushion, eyelids draw down of their own accord, breath flows in breath flows out.  Beat of heart, song of great silence.

Out of infinite velvet blackness points of energy emerge.

They spiral into appearance, and as they do so they take on mandala-like forms.  Some are glorious flowers.  Others are crystalline and geometric.  Others are snowflake-like, a blend of organic curvaceous-ness and geometric patterning.  Still others are spirals, simple vortexes, or radiating arms like the spira mirabilis.  There is no color, only milk-white light playing in the black vastness.

The energy forms appear to move towards the witnessing Awareness, spiraling and expanding, and then they move right through and into IT –

an endlessly unfurling pulsation
emerging, spiraling, flowering, and flowing,
penetrating and dissolving into
the unknowable Knowingness
that is ceaselessly watching.

~

who or what witnesses?

172

if myself-me is this mind
thinking its endless stream of thoughts

then who or what witnesses?

.

if myself-me is these feelings
of pain or rejection, satisfaction or joy

then who or what witnesses?

.

if myself-me is this timeline of
experiences – the good the bad and the ugly

then who or what witnesses?

.

thinking self, feeling self, historical self
– all are creations of consciousness
think-ing, feel-ing, experience-ing

.

try a little thought experiment:
suspend the myself-me concept
just for a moment –
just to see for yourself
(it won’t go away, you can
adopt it again, or not)

what remains?

.

‘I’

endlessly

silently

choicelessly

witnessing

‘IT’-self

~

memo to busy wee-me

166

this pathless path has only three signposts
and they don’t point to any-thing or any-place:

stop

shut up

sink

into the unknowable Knowingness that you already are, that you are, that you are,
that you are

~

sitting in the dawn-blushed sanctuary
sitting on the zafu:  point zero
sitting with the rhythm of Life’s breath
sitting with hum, furnace of the universe
sitting with so, silver singing silence

sitting ’til the sitter is the sitting
and the blushing and the breathing
and the hum-ing and the silence
and there is only Beloved’s Beingness
and wee-me is a thought-galaxy yet to be invented

~

this naked and ever-fresh moment

163

It’s curious to see how many supposedly ‘awakened’ dreamers teach that there is ‘no doer’ yet go on, often at considerable cost, to give instructions as to what should be done.

The wild wideawakeness that obliterates the ‘doer’, if the apperception is genuine (and believe me, you’ll know), wipes all traces of doer-ship from past, present and future.

Its revelation is that the supposed doer is synonymous with time.

Therefore, any practice that takes time – even some forms of meditation – will take one further from unknowable Knowingness, not closer. Actually, it’s impossible to be closer to what is being sought than one already is.

The ending of time is the awakening to a Life vibrantly alive in this naked and ever-fresh moment.

~

the miraculous hides in the mundane

160

today:

packing and moving parents’ belongings, preparing for their shift to a new abode …

washing windows, hanging curtains, changing light globes, cleaning out a filthy second-hand fridge …

there’s this ‘me’-body performing apparent functions according to its physical and mental abilities, and this ‘me’-mind gliding through its miraculous multi-tasking modes:  alpha-thinking playing its part translating the intelligence of omega-mind into alphabetized commentaries …

and awareing both the physical activity and the mind meanderings …

this unknowable knowingness

~

awakening is neither difficult nor easy

146

awakening is neither difficult nor easy

it happens when it’s ready,
and it’s impartial re time or space

something like this appears to happen:

first you STOP
and you stay stopped

then you SIT
and you stay seated

then you SHUT UP
and you stay silent

having stopped, sat down,
and shut up, what next?

(if that’s your question
you haven’t yet shut up)

eventually the stopper
and the sitter and the mute one
disappear

only unknowable Knowingness remains
wideawake and aware
as IT has always been

that’s all

~

sucking at the wrong source

134

Some speak of ‘my’ energy, of ‘their’ energy, of ‘others’ draining one’s energy – as in bad and good vibes…  But where is this self that owns its ‘own’ energy?  Exactly where are these other selves who can steal ‘my’ energy?  Can life’s energy exist as an object to be manipulated or to be stolen?  Scientists can measure energy in different forms, but can they hold it in their hands and view it with the naked eye?

What I’ve discovered these past months, in the company of a dear someone who constantly monitors ‘his’ energy and also informs me of the state of my own, is that the sensation of energy loss – or gain – in my body is caused by identification with said body, coupled with the belief that energy is finite and fixed. I question this popular paradigm that posits human beings as a collective of hungry vampire energy-suckers. As far as I’m concerned they’re sucking at the wrong source.

What if all those beliefs were untrue?
What if our ‘real’ energy was something utterly
unknowable
immeasurable
changeless
limitless
non-local
and so unavoidable that you’d have to conclude
IT was your
own dear Self?

~