‘I’ is the subject that cannot be objectified.
Each attempt to turn ‘I’ into an object for scrutiny or description
shows ‘I’ turning up again as subject regarding that object.
Talk about a slippery fish!
But ‘wee-me’ keeps on casting its net,
hoping to catch that fish,
hoping to dissect it,
label its parts,
write a learned paper about it,
teach the world how to catch it
transform and transcend it once and for all.
The big fishy I-eye just watches.
No comment. No preference. No change.
Image: Trigger Fish Eye, by Bill Atherton
[Inquiring into THIS – referred to here as ‘IT’, unlit light, primordial awareness, wideawakeness, unknowable knowingness, Beloved – is a practice often recommended in nondual teachings.]
What is this?
Is it nameable?
No – not truthfully – it is prior to all naming.
Is it a thing?
No – it can’t be found or measured.
Is it nothing?
No – it’s everywhere ‘I’ looks
listens, touches, tastes, smells, feels.
An uncontrollable nervous repetitive twitch in the eye area is called a ‘tic’.
Living one’s miraculous livingness in tic-toc mode is similarly repetitive and twitchy – knee-jerk responses dominate the day. There’s an absolute abdication to conditioning. The gears and pulleys of thinking merrily toil on; the default ‘doer’ dreams its version of the dream and claims all credit for itself, while blame, natch, belongs elsewhere.
For some this way of being-a-life works fine – in their opinion it’s non-negotiable. No worries. Yet.
For others it’s dysfunctional and causes inexplicable discontent: “Is this all there is?”
In every sentient soul something silent watches, and when ripeness is ripe IT pulls the lynch-pin right out of the works. Nothing whatsoever changes to the Changeless. But tic-toc mode is history.
No more habitude! No more sleepwalking through the miracle of one’s life!
[This post seems to echo back to clarity comes effortlessly.]
Let’s be clear when speaking about clarity.
Clarity has nothing to do with deductive thought, analysis or memory. It’s a spontaneous insight without any perceiver. It isn’t a product of the imagination which draws on the known, or intellect which connects the dots.
Insight means seeing-in, seeing beyond the mind, and it isn’t an experience of any kind because the experiencer (thinker) is absent. It is a direct knowing on the part of unknowable Knowingness, which subsequently might use thought as a tool, if necessary.
For insight, Knowingness, Awareness – whatever name we give this ineffable Intelligence – is holistic. It includes everything: thoughts, mind, intellect, feelings, senses.
There is nothing that is not the One no-thing, and seeing-into this Knowingness reveals the sanctity of everything.
Natural, deep, dreamless sleep is a miraculous healer. Any approximation of that ‘state’ during waking hours is a crucial activity of the body-mind. This is where meditation is such a vital (non)activity.
Life – Knowingness, Awareness, Primordial Essence, God, Tao; as you wish – is unhampered by the web of confused and conflicting concepts called thought and experienced as self.
IT simply lives ITs vast vitality; runs repairs on the body-mind as necessary, blessedly unimpeded by a ‘doer’ doing anything.
I have slipped from the power of now
into the pleasure of now
it’s a kind of relaxation into
what simply is
without argument or
it doesn’t imply that what is
will always be up-beat –
it will simply be what it is
pleasure and pain, joy and sadness,
clarity and confusion –
all have equal status
immeasurably vast, ‘I’ remains
a rock-solid emptiness
in the pleasure garden of now
Whatever you are drawn to do from a sense of inner compulsion, from a sense that may seem irrational or even foolhardy, is precisely what will take you towards the truth of yourself. It will be your unique version of ‘the finger pointing to the moon.’
The great Life lesson is always the same, always the apperception of what one actually is, via understanding of what one is not.
The events that unfold as you follow the compulsions may turn out to be fortuitous or they may seem to be awful mistakes. Very often regrets are involved. But don’t be fooled: disappointment is the greatest teacher of all.
My passion has always been to create. What creating taught me was that I-as-artist didn’t exist, which sounds devastating for the ego. And it was. But it simultaneously revealed the non-personal truth of the vastness and glory of the life I had, in ignorance, called ‘mine.’
Creativity, if it’s genuine, will always flow from the unknowable and the immeasurable. If I know what I’m doing I’m not engaged in creativity. I’m simply rearranging the known.