walking forth, legless

 

walking forth,
legless,
into the theatre of my life
after 39 days immersion in a
silent Dzochen retreat

 

miriam louisa simons, Wangapeka journal - Dzogchen retreat, New Zealand, 2010

 


I recently came upon a journal written on a 6 week silent Dzogchen retreat at Wangapeka Study and Retreat Centre in Nelson, Aotearoa-New Zealand, in 2010. (The Lama had asked me to do this as part of my practice.) Other writings from this period have been posted at this unlit light blog but the scribblings in this journal haven’t been shared before. The one above, written on the last day of silence, packed a punch from which I will never recover.

This is what happens on a retreat that goes long enough, deep enough, wide enough – you get ripped in three and re-braided.

“formations”? – anything that takes shape in consciousness: a thought, a feeling, a memory, a story, a self, an other…

“universe”? – the changeless, ever-present, immeasurable, all-inclusive and inescapable THIS.

“preferred”? – by whom? by what? (there being no chooser to be found) By the universe ITself, as the miraculous and incomprehensible expression of ITself.

“why”? – make up a good story; it doesn’t matter what you conceive … all stories are formations, fluffy consolations for a mind made redundant.

(Best not to attend such retreats unless prepared for obliteration of the old concepts and fixations around self-identity and world-view.)


are you that free?

356

The reach of your compassion reveals the degree of your wideawakeness
and conversely
the authenticity of your unconditional freedom
is the reach of your compassion.

 

Echoes from Emptiness: Contemplation - "Am I that free?"

 

Compassion begins at home. Begins here.

Are you free to feel the immeasurable depth of your unspeakable pain?

to melt into its fear-full embrace without withdrawal?

to dive deeper yet, without coming up for air

without gasping or grasping for causes, meanings, healing?

to arrive at the altar of the world’s pain;

to light your small candle there amongst the galaxy of flickering lights

and on that sacred clay, to drop to your knees and whisper the holy halleluiah?

Are you that free?


Image gathered from the internet long ago.
If it’s yours, please let me know so I can provide a link-back.
Thanks.