totality

the trick to living naturally, fully and wholly

301

Is it true that living naturally, fully, wholly,
is something that one can turn into a goal,
an ultimate state?

Some say that the moment Life is assessed
by a cognizing process
and assigned a value on a scale of how-things-should-be,
the minute Life is seen to need changing
and plans are laid to alter Life’s flow –
that’s when Life’s lost.

They claim that’s when one begins to wonder
why the marvel of living has dried up,
why one feels only half alive, why one feels as though
drowning in a sea of ‘shoulds’.

However, these are devious dualistic perspectives;
they make grand promises they cannot deliver.

The trick to living naturally, fully, wholly
is simply to embrace the Totality of Life
and realize that you are inseparable from IT.

Whatever is happening is Life’s design.

If there’s desire to change anything, that’s Life’s desire.

If there’s desire to remember the Truth, that’s Life’s desire.
If one forgets to remember, that buck stops with Life as well.

And in case a crucial little line above passed you by
I will put it here, again:

… and realize that you are inseparable from IT…

~

have you found that which never changes?

274

this thusness
is the body of beingness
yours, mine, and all the appearances taking the verb
‘to be’

it never moves yet it contains all that changes

have you found that which never changes?
that which  never moves?
that which never knows, labels or holds a belief about anything?

find that – it’s closer than your next thought
and Totality will at last embrace ITself

~

whole and holy! halleluiah!

266

The penny slipped through a crack in the basket-case I used to take for ‘me’.  It fell, spinning like a dervish – one side chasing the other in the cosmic dance of dualism.  And eventually, obeying the laws of entropy, it ran out of momentum and stopped.

It came to rest in the Real, the changeless,
where both its sides are equally true and valid.

It came to rest in the Real, which had been its home all along,
and it knew as much.

It knew it had never,
in spite of all its spinning and spending,
ever for one nanosecond left the Real,
because the Real is one without a second,
the Real is all there is,
the Real is totality, wholeness.
Whole!  Holy!

What a gobsmacker to realize that the two-sided penny called duality,
with all its stories, is inseparable from the Real.
Neither is the basket-case.

All Holy!  Halleluiah!

~

whatever … so be it

255

My rented flat has been sold.  I’m packing up; where I’m off to remains a mystery.

It has always been thus in this scribbler’s Lifedream.  The veils hiding the way ahead only vaporize once all present business has been tidied up and folded away and the old doors are closed.

This used to infuriate me – why wasn’t my life laid out in the apparently ordered and predictable manner demonstrated by … other, ‘together’ people?


Blind Men on a Log bridge
Hakuin Ekaku
The Gitter Collection

I feel like one of Hakuin’s blind men.  But this time round, I’m strangely relaxed, loose even.  How could one possibly outguess the unknowable movement of Creation-aka-Life-aka-Totality?

If a dip in the river is called for, so be it.

~

an instantaneous sightless seeing

228

This morning what’s striking me as utterly wondrous is the sheer inevitability of everything.  Sometimes I would wonder whether this is a gift of ripening age – one can see far enough back down the tracks to be aware of how the dots connect over the span of decades.  But nowadays I notice this wonderment being expressed by those who are youthful – and wideawake.  I’ve come to see that wonderment, awe, and an unbidden humility arise in the naked encounter with ‘what-is’ – unadorned suchness. This brings me to my knees.

The inevitability of ripeness and readiness for awakening – but always in their own time and on their own terms.

Eventually, when ripeness was ready, there was an instantaneous sightless seeing that everything I believed I was doing was happening in its own way, by its own accord, at its own pace.  There was seeing that nothing happening has anything to do with ‘me’ and that beyond the craziness of appearances everything flows harmoniously.

Retiring, relaxing, ml slips out of the time/space grid, returns to the womb of One-derment, where, neither watching nor waiting, ‘I’ is totality and sweet fulfillment.

~

I is inescapable awareness

132

I is the rising
sun
I is the budding
bougainvillea
I is the opening
palm frond
I is the flickering
candle
I is the marveling
brain
I is the numbing
leg
I is the writing
hand
I is the revving
truck
I is the coo-cooing
dove
I is the in-and-out
breath
I is the beating
heart

 

I is inescapable Awareness –
the totality of fulfillment
and incomprehensible abundance

~