walking forth, legless

 

walking forth,
legless,
into the theatre of my life
after 39 days immersion in a
silent Dzochen retreat

 

miriam louisa simons, Wangapeka journal - Dzogchen retreat, New Zealand, 2010

 


I recently came upon a journal written on a 6 week silent Dzogchen retreat at Wangapeka Study and Retreat Centre in Nelson, Aotearoa-New Zealand, in 2010. (The Lama had asked me to do this as part of my practice.) Other writings from this period have been posted at this unlit light blog but the scribblings in this journal haven’t been shared before. The one above, written on the last day of silence, packed a punch from which I will never recover.

This is what happens on a retreat that goes long enough, deep enough, wide enough – you get ripped in three and re-braided.

“formations”? – anything that takes shape in consciousness: a thought, a feeling, a memory, a story, a self, an other…

“universe”? – the changeless, ever-present, immeasurable, all-inclusive and inescapable THIS.

“preferred”? – by whom? by what? (there being no chooser to be found) By the universe ITself, as the miraculous and incomprehensible expression of ITself.

“why”? – make up a good story; it doesn’t matter what you conceive … all stories are formations, fluffy consolations for a mind made redundant.

(Best not to attend such retreats unless prepared for obliteration of the old concepts and fixations around self-identity and world-view.)


no time, no space: no me

155

It’s curious that while most folk who inquire, even at a fairly superficial level, will concede that time is a conceptual construct with no objective reality, they continue to argue for the existence of a solid-state self-entity.  This is ‘me’ – wysiwyg!

But if time is illusory, it follows that duration in space is impossible.  How can any concept of space be workable without the added dimension of time?

How can there be a near and a far?  A then, a now, a when?  And bereft of space (in which to exist) and time (in and through which to endure) what’s left of ‘me’?

I’ll tell you what’s left: the entire gobsmacking universe.

~

I am not
but the Universe is Myself
~ Shih T’ou
AD 700 – 790