the ‘doer’

something silent watches

195

tic-toc

An uncontrollable nervous repetitive twitch in the eye area is called a ‘tic’.

Living one’s miraculous livingness in tic-toc mode is similarly repetitive and twitchy – knee-jerk responses dominate the day.  There’s an absolute abdication to conditioning. The gears and pulleys of thinking merrily toil on; the default ‘doer’ dreams its version of the dream and claims all credit for itself, while blame, natch, belongs elsewhere.

For some this way of being-a-life works fine – in their opinion it’s non-negotiable.  No worries.  Yet.

For others it’s dysfunctional and causes inexplicable discontent:  “Is this all there is?”

In every sentient soul something silent watches, and when ripeness is ripe IT pulls the lynch-pin right out of the works.  Nothing whatsoever changes to the Changeless.  But tic-toc mode is history.

No more habitude!  No more sleepwalking through the miracle of one’s life!

~

life lives its vast vitality

189

Natural, deep, dreamless sleep is a miraculous healer.  Any approximation of that ‘state’ during waking hours is a crucial activity of the body-mind.  This is where meditation is such a vital (non)activity.

Life  –  Knowingness, Awareness, Primordial Essence, God, Tao; as you wish  –  is unhampered by the web of confused and conflicting concepts called thought and experienced as self.

IT simply lives ITs vast vitality; runs repairs on the body-mind as necessary, blessedly unimpeded by a ‘doer’ doing anything.

~

when the doer loses grip, Grace gets space

164

Grace is amoral
innocent
ubiquitous

It belongs to no one – not even the awakened –
and cannot be bestowed by anyone.

Mother’s Grace, Guru’s Grace, God’s Grace, are all terms assuming the existence of duality, separation:
me-and-Mother, me-and-Guru, me-and-God, and so on, with me endlessly supplicating for ‘my’ supposed needs.

Have you noticed how Grace seems to simply show up right when you’re at the lowest ebb, when you’ve pretty much given up, when you don’t know where to turn?

When the doer loses grip
Grace gets space.

~

sweet release

108

within this dream (which has no without)
every action performed seems to spring from the sense of personhood –
a me/doer, a someone, who chooses and controls

waking up in the dream means realizing
that the inexorable movement of Life has been the doer all along,
and that the dreamer just snatched all the credit – or the blame –
in an attempt to feel real

there’s immense release in this:

no one to beat up
no one to blame
no one to be proud
no one to be humble
no one to be guilty

sweet release: are you ready for it?

~

the movement of life’s livingness

48

the profound peace that flows
into the space left vacant
when the ‘doer’ is seen for what it is

ie –merely a commonly-held, mistaken point-of-view–

is the very peace so long sought by that doer

it’s a cool drink of pure water
on a stifling summer’s day
it’s a down doona on a chilly night

it’s the quiet rapture of relaxation
into great silence and stillness

it passes all understanding

and yet it is sensed and shared
by every critter and creature
every trembling leaf and bud

what else could it be
but the movement of Life’s livingness?

~

immense unfathomable spaciousness

08

what does surrender mean?

who does it?

and to what?

in the context of these notes, it’s a verb that takes no subject or object
it attempts to describe what ‘happens’ when the self-as-doer-construct dissolves, and the body-mind-being understands that it is purely and simply lived by Life

there’s no one feeling either happy or sad about this
but the sense of spaciousness is immense

unfathomable

~