What I notice when amnesia sneaks in and I begin again to claim doer-ship and control over tomorrow, doggedly pushing on, blindly following the ruts of conditioning and posing as supreme controller, is this:
Something happens to bring me back,
and, probably because I’m a gritty goer,
it happens to my body.
(Arm gets rms: can’t scribble or type,
back goes out: can’t stand at easel,
knee explodes: can’t move.)
Something makes me stop, sit, shut-up
and free-fall yet again
into the what-is of this life I call mine.
That ‘something’ is what I know as Grace.
It’s usually fierce. Definitely not fluffy.
I’ve learned to love it as my most treasured Beloved,
for it returns me to ITself.
this pathless path has only three signposts
and they don’t point to any-thing or any-place:
into the unknowable Knowingness that you already are, that you are, that you are,
that you are
sitting in the dawn-blushed sanctuary
sitting on the zafu: point zero
sitting with the rhythm of Life’s breath
sitting with hum, furnace of the universe
sitting with so, silver singing silence
sitting ’til the sitter is the sitting
and the blushing and the breathing
and the hum-ing and the silence
and there is only Beloved’s Beingness
and wee-me is a thought-galaxy yet to be invented
awakening is neither difficult nor easy
it happens when it’s ready,
and it’s impartial re time or space
something like this appears to happen:
first you STOP
and you stay stopped
then you SIT
and you stay seated
then you SHUT UP
and you stay silent
having stopped, sat down,
and shut up, what next?
(if that’s your question
you haven’t yet shut up)
eventually the stopper
and the sitter and the mute one
only unknowable Knowingness remains
wideawake and aware
as IT has always been
knowing, sentience, awareness
these are words for IT that utterly fail
to define IT
“The word is not the thing,” said Krishnamurti.
“The word is not the no-thing, either,” echoes Emptiness
knowing that includes no
sentience that includes no
awareness that includes no
knowing that includes no-thing
sentience that includes no-thing
awareness that includes no-thing
these are concepts dancing around IT
spinning, dyeing, patterning,
weaving, on the loom of
mind’s exquisite tapestry
stopping the talk, shutting up at last
there’s just this
pointless and placeless
to live is to move:
Life surges, pulses, flows, pushes, wanders, creeps
(just observe nature!)
to be is to be determined:
being is Life in movement
dancing the dance of destiny
through the corridors of conditioning
(just observe yourself!)
to awaken is to stop:
to stay still
to shut up
to stay silent
to let Life dance a new dance amongst the neurons
[this post is a duplicate of the ‘about’ page]
A small, weary, middle-aged woman sits on a zafu. She is hobbled by an old injury that will soon require surgery. She is thousands of miles from her work, her colleagues, her friends and her sangha. Her brilliant life is reduced to ashes.
She is withdrawn but not sorrowful for she accepts her circumstances, and she deeply loves the two sweet friends – her parents – she has crossed the world to care for in their ancient age.
She has inquired deeply into life’s mysteries and questions. She has been blessed to be taught and mentored by great spiritual souls. The zafu is her friend.
She stops, perforce. She sits. She stays. This time there is no escape.
She enters Emptiness.
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