this unborn I

68

out of this singing silence
that lives the wondrous
now
that animates uncountable versions of
this
and is never elsewhere than right
here

a fresh, yet everlastingly familiar
Lifedrop
forms

it is not a person
not an entity or an individual
yet all of these and all else as well

its quality is alive spaciousness:

it is this unborn I

~

dreamtime

60

while sleeping there was a dream

it was 9-11 and
I was there, @ground0

but – unfettered by a fixed point-of-perspective
within space – I was instead
the spaciousness itself

the planes hit

I saw details never mentioned in news reports

I watched, felt, wailed
as though it was happening
to this very body

then I woke up and it was all gone

the full-color, three-dimensional,
real-surround-sound, acrid-odor
experience vanished
along with its spacious ‘experiencer’

this morning these eyes open
within another dream
a seemingly ‘real’ dream yet
only
made possible by that same sentient spaciousness
which hosted the eyes-shut scenario

~

sit! sit! sink into wondrous spaciousness

20

apparently

there’s a palm frond fluttering and a whistler trying to be mindful
a bird is whistling too, but purposefully

there’s a toddler laughing in the crisp autumn sunshine
and a radio quacking the morning news

there’s toothache and tiredness
but the zafu beckons beguilingly

sit! sit! sink into wondrous spaciousness
the source of all that is being perceived and sensed

~

how could something called spaciousness
be so alive, alert, aware and utterly unknowable?

~

immense unfathomable spaciousness

08

what does surrender mean?

who does it?

and to what?

in the context of these notes, it’s a verb that takes no subject or object
it attempts to describe what ‘happens’ when the self-as-doer-construct dissolves, and the body-mind-being understands that it is purely and simply lived by Life

there’s no one feeling either happy or sad about this
but the sense of spaciousness is immense

unfathomable

~