a willingness to disappear

363

analyze and adapt
diagnose and dialogue
formulate and fix
trance, track, tap:
so many ways to place
kiss-it-better
patches on the pain
of fragmentation

we call it healing
and invent new modalities by the minute
to ease the symptoms, which also
multiply by the minute, fattening the catalogue
of official psychological disorders

but until the trickster called time
is exposed and deposed
our little healings are just brief remissions
from the ache of incompleteness

to heal is to make whole

that’s why the true sages carry no band-aids
but go straight to the root of fragmentation
– time –
conjurer of the ‘me’-mirage
with its default sense of separation
and its insatiable appetite for union

they know that the ending of time
restores immeasurable wholeness
– no faith, no belief, no training required

only a willingness to disappear
into now and this and here

~

noname’s lament

358

a Very Dear someone-I-know
likes to be called ‘I Am’
he says it’s the most powerful name
one can adopt
(the masters told him so)

 .

I tease him and tell him to call me
‘I’m Not’

 .

he’s unamused; he’s very earnest about
his spiritual status and frequently
sends me to Coventry
for my irreverence

 .

I’m probably over-pedantic
(blame it on my story as an ex-educator)
but from the moment it was seen
what ‘I’ is – when IT was fully unclothed
and revealed as naked Presence –
the ‘Am’ has been superfluous
(ummm
so has the ‘Am Not”, strangely enough,
but kid sisters l-o-v-e to goad)

 .

(aside)
isn’t the “I am” statement the ultimate oxymoron?
it’s both incongruous and self-contradictory…

 .

the only verb-form ‘I’ can logically take is an IS
for there’s nothing about ‘I’
that could be called personal,
given its inextricability from whatever ‘it’
knows or does

 .

and yet, our entire manner of speaking insists
that we stand as separate objects
when irreducible BE-ing is all that
anyone
actually
experiences

 .

yes, it’s grammatically incorrect
(teacher winces, adjusts glasses)
but it’s unarguably accurate
in terms of one’s experience

 .

my much-missed bro
when can I come home
and play with you again?

~

hell is thinking other people are other

276

Sartre was right: Hell is other people.

I don’t know enough about the man or his play to be sure that he was right for the right reason.

But I do know that whenever ‘others’ enter one’s life-play, the split from wholeness has happened, meaning, a ‘me’ has morphed.

Most readers of Sartre take the “hell” of “other people” to be their capacity to annoy or frustrate one.

But it seems to me that hell is the capacity of the imagined ‘me/myself’ to annoy and frustrate itself by turning the equally imagined ‘others’ into victimizers or objects of desire, or those who must be pleased with me and like me, regardless of the cost to body, happiness and sanity.

In other words, turning them into stories.

.

And then believing it’s all true and real.

~

on doorless doors, gateless gates, pathless paths and the great view

204

The door theme continues; scribbler scribbles.

For some folk – read yours truly – Wideawakeness seems to go with ruthless questioning of non-negotiable assumptions – beliefs and opinions we often don’t even know are lurking below the limn of consciousness.  We use words and scarcely give a thought to the fact that they are nothing but signifiers.

What if a “door” turned out to be not-a-door at all, but a collection of contributing qualities and attributes that could be traced all the way back to what we call the Big Bang?  What if a “path” turned out to be similar?  And the “gate” of the Zenner’s koan as well?  And what if you looked deeply enough at the “me” and failed to find anything that could be claimed to be “self-existent”?

And what if you went even further and found that the appearance of what any of these signifiers signified could not be claimed to exist apart from the Awareness that perceives them?  And what if you then turned your inquiry to that Awareness (which cannot be objectified, but only referenced in a ‘thought experiment’) and realized that even IT could never exist without the display it is Awareing? And what if you realized you couldn’t extricate your sense of self from that movement of Aware-ing-ness?

Wouldn’t that send a tsunami over your little island of separate ‘me-ness’?

The waves engulf, destroy, cleanse and retreat.  If there’s been no withdrawal – if ripeness has ripened – a new vista opens up.  The Lamas call it The Great View.

~

when the doer loses grip, Grace gets space

164

Grace is amoral
innocent
ubiquitous

It belongs to no one – not even the awakened –
and cannot be bestowed by anyone.

Mother’s Grace, Guru’s Grace, God’s Grace, are all terms assuming the existence of duality, separation:
me-and-Mother, me-and-Guru, me-and-God, and so on, with me endlessly supplicating for ‘my’ supposed needs.

Have you noticed how Grace seems to simply show up right when you’re at the lowest ebb, when you’ve pretty much given up, when you don’t know where to turn?

When the doer loses grip
Grace gets space.

~

racetrack – gracetrack

121

Racetrack?

person running for their life,
keeping ahead of the competition
imagining the joys of winning,
accomplishing, achieving,
and the misery of failure,
fearful of the finishing line
which denotes the end to their
participation in the human
race  w h e w

Gracetrack?

no separate person
no separate others
no competition or race
no fear or fantasy
no shoulds or suffering
no birth or death

just the sweet, mellow, peaceful
graciousness
of Life’s unfolding
in total fulfillment  a h h h h

~