wholly whole and holy

ma deva padma - existence

 

So.  Here we are.  Sitting upon our lotus-leaf

pondering the paradox

that there is no inner and outer to this experience

of exist-ing.

Not only is the fabric of our being

felted from the Primordial Awareness we can’t

escape,

but every appearance we consider

‘other’

is similarly ex-pressed from that source.

And if there’s no inside/outside,

no this/that

no me/other

it means this:

there’s nowhere to hide

 

We love to think that our quiet denial

of the pain too unspeakable to countenance,

is safely hidden from view.

 

Or, and this is more common,

we are no longer aware of it

as it vibrates below the limn

of our consciousness.

 

Perhaps we stitch together satisfying stories about

our awakened understanding.

(Or the absence thereof.)

Yet in moments of self-honesty we can see:

our scars go before us

laying out the trajectory of our lives.

 

Every stitch in the tapestry

of our magnificent ‘me’

is displayed across the cosmos.

 

All is known.

Because there’s nowhere for anything

to hide.

 

This is exquisite.

It’s a realisation that throws open the possibility

that the wound we have spent a lifetime

avoiding, can become the catalyst

for an unimaginable new View.

 

How come?

 

No inside/outside, remember?

No separation, remember?

Only One immeasurable inconceivable Whole is happening.

It’s like an eyeless eye.

 

It

knows Itself

intimately, lovingly

in all the discarded, denied details

of our every wound,

every misdeed and regret,

every choked-back emotion,

every failure to love…

 

and still It loves us

nourishes

holds

and

lives us

 

so

 

how could we not be safe?

we can come out

we can stand up

we can own up

we can shine

 

wholly whole and holy

 


 

Sorry to shout.   But this matters.  Evidence of unintegrated primal pain is displayed for all to see across our world at this time.  Imagine what the scene would be like if emotionally mature grown-ups were carrying the best interests of humanity forward, rather than beings frozen at the age of three?  This is probably as close as I will ever come to making a political statement.

 


Image copyright Ma Deva Padma, Existence, from the Osho Zen Tarot


the shock of seamless intimacy

 
Miriam Louisa Simons: the shock of seamless intimacy

 

when the myth of separation erases itself

from the mind’s story-trove

one free-falls into a view (there’s no choice about it)

that’s viewerless

the shock of seamless intimacy is usually hair-raising

devastating, humbling

no separation! outside & inside – same!

repeat: same!

– – –

all those stories one tells oneself about oneself

and the mythical others

all those resolutions made in the aching lostness:

practice! diligence! discretion!

all those stern exclusions: the egotist, the phoney

the ignorant, the ‘evil’…

all those fantasies about embracing

some Unknowable Immensity

aye

all those comforting conclusions; certitudes acquired

along a streaming lifeline

gone – synapses wiped

– – –

only this Nothing that excludes nothing

remains, on Its knees

utterly undone

fully full

and excruciatingly sweet

– – –

 


Image source unknown. Please notify me if it’s yours, so credit can be given. Thank you.


perhaps it is time?

 
Photo art by Christoffer Relander
 

would you believe me
if I assured you that
you can never be too old
(or too young)
to meet the unborn
deathless Bright
that is your actual identity?

would you believe me
if I whispered that you
and the world appearing
within that radiant
Knowingness
are inseparable
except in thought?

would you believe me
if I said, No, it is not
too late
to turn in, to dive down
into your immensity
and feel loved again by
your own shy Life?

if your days feel deadened
by weariness and futility,
if your world seems fragmented
and full of pain,
I implore you: please
don’t believe or not believe,
but glance, with thoughts
on hold,
at the ever-present invitation
to check this out for yourself
 
perhaps it is time?

 


Multiple exposure portrait by Christoffer Relander


can you, do you, live this savage wisdom?

 

impossible! see

this ultimate knowingness
isn’t a teaching, a path, a doctrine
one can ‘live’ or embody

(although the earnest peddlers
of nonduality apps
would love you to buy the notion)

you can’t “live this savage wisdom”

it’s what’s living you

and not just when you’re clear and angelic
oh no
it’s living you when you’re a mess: lost, confused, angry,
seducing and story-telling

its play is infinite

it has no preferences;
it loves all that it creates and beholds

and because You and It are inseparable
your recognition of this
is ITs total fulfillment

it’s how IT gets its jollies!

 

"It's how it gets its jollies!"

 

(c’mon, wake up, don’t be a party-pooper!)


 

Uncredited image found in an archive on my hard drive and played with in Photoshop. Please contact me if you recognize it as your work and I’ll add your name.

 

seething, teeming wideawakeness

325

It’s true that there’s nothing to do in order to abide in this brilliant wideawakeness. It’s also true that doing nothing is no different from doing everything possible.

Wideawakeness has no preferences whatsoever; its unimaginable vastness includes all activities and practices, faiths and beliefs and philosophies.

Wideawakeness is sometimes called the ‘silent witness’ but if one looks very closely a witness cannot be found at all – it’s merely another arising thought. When the witness idea dissolves, it’s clearly seen that no separation exists between wideawakeness and whatever (is appearing, happening).

The witness and the watcher and the wee-me are all sparkling froth on this unfathomable ocean of seething teeming wideawakeness.

~

until there comes the savage shock

323

this unknowable Knowingness
– creating, impregnating all appearance
yet carrying no traces,
harboring no memories
and expecting nothing of tomorrow
ever –

we seek It as the sacred
and give It a thousand names;
we worship It as something separate,
out beyond us:
cultivable,
attainable,
experience-able

until there comes the savage shock
– a mindshift so subtle it can’t be said –

It’s simply here

(and there and everywhere)

when we drop right out and disappear

~

life embraces ITself and knows ITself as Beloved

116

The divine logic of undivided Wholeness flowers and ripens in its own way, in its own time.  IT cannot be taught or bestowed.  There are no maps, no paths, no secret initiations or alchemical formulae that can reveal ITs reality – they serve only to divert One away from the breath-taking simplicity of what is being sought.

Perhaps this explains my lifelong discomfort with all forms of proselytizing and mission-work.  It has always been intuited that when ripeness is ready, Grace presents all that is needed for the flowering of understanding and clarity.

 

Life ‘lives’ this life
as IT lives all Life
according to ITs own
incomprehensible agenda.

And once One ‘sees’ that Life ITself
is One’s true identity,
One knows the true identity
of all the apparent ‘others.’

This is the end of separation –
Life embraces ITself
and knows ITself as Beloved.

~