fantasy

the shock of seamless intimacy

 
Miriam Louisa Simons: the shock of seamless intimacy

 

when the myth of separation erases itself

from the mind’s story-trove

one free-falls into a view (there’s no choice about it)

that’s viewerless

the shock of seamless intimacy is usually hair-raising

devastating, humbling

no separation! outside & inside – same!

repeat: same!

– – –

all those stories one tells oneself about oneself

and the mythical others

all those resolutions made in the aching lostness:

practice! diligence! discretion!

all those stern exclusions: the egotist, the phoney

the ignorant, the ‘evil’…

all those fantasies about embracing

some Unknowable Immensity

aye

all those comforting conclusions; certitudes acquired

along a streaming lifeline

gone – synapses wiped

– – –

only this Nothing that excludes nothing

remains, on Its knees

utterly undone

fully full

and excruciatingly sweet

– – –

 

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I is nothing to do with me

306

‘I’ is the eye of existence.

‘Me’ is the figment of fantasy that imagines itself owner of that eye.  ‘Me’ is the way ‘I’ refers to itself, yet neither an ‘I’ nor a ‘me’ can ever be located.

The I-eye of clear Awakeness is owned by nothing – no circumstance, no person/entity, no thing whatsoever.

It is never born, although the body- mind organism it saturates and substantiates appears to be born.

It never dies, although its ‘host’ will appear to do so.

It can never be found, for it is always inseparable from that which seeks.

‘I’ is nothing to do with me, or any other personal pronoun.

‘I’ is.

That’s all that can be known – or said – about It.

And even that’s two words too many.

~

in truth there is no other

279

Can old friendships survive this mind-shift?

The ‘person’ I appear to be, is a story in the mind of a sentient creature, and that creature cannot help but assemble its version of ‘me’ according to its conditioning.

Its conditioning determines acceptance or rejection as a ‘friend’ and is the brain’s device for determining those things – including people – that will comfort it, agree with it, support its survival.  In short, what we commonly call friendship is a fantasy.  If my friendship is determined by such needs it’s not a genuine relationship at all.

Wild wideawakeness shines an uncompromising light on such dissembling.  Some friendships fall away naturally, some survive because at root they are story-free, or because the stories are recognized for what they are.

When the fantasy aspect of friendship has melted away along with all other fantasies, the stage is swept clean and there is room for true relating to occur.  One-in-One.

It makes no difference whether the friend understands this savage wisdom or not.  For in Truth there is no other who could be called a friend.

~

racetrack – gracetrack

121

Racetrack?

person running for their life,
keeping ahead of the competition
imagining the joys of winning,
accomplishing, achieving,
and the misery of failure,
fearful of the finishing line
which denotes the end to their
participation in the human
race  w h e w

Gracetrack?

no separate person
no separate others
no competition or race
no fear or fantasy
no shoulds or suffering
no birth or death

just the sweet, mellow, peaceful
graciousness
of Life’s unfolding
in total fulfillment  a h h h h

~

from i to fixation, via the teeth

52

it’s true that the word is not the thing
but words can be powerful pointers

it’s fun, and often revealing
to take them apart
and see what can be seen:

identification

i
self-explanatory

id
see Freud and co

dent
tooth: Fr
(hang on by skin of)

ent-ity
conceptual creature

if
contingent upon …

fic-tion
unreal, fantasy

fi(x)ation
neurosis, source of suffering

~
(she can’t help it; she used to be a teacher)