an ecstasy of ease

186

Awake on the dot of midnight with a wideawakeness in the brain that defies description.  The brain was empty of thought yet singing with energy.  Then I noticed the whole body was alive and singing with this energy and was completely at ease, although the night was hot, humid and airless.

Sitting through the night hours was an ecstasy of ease; I remember thinking at one point “I could do this forever, forever.”

Hours later, when the morning star was soaring in the eastern sky there was a perception of the world that was shocking in its luminosity and freshness and clarity.  “Oh my God!” I cried out loud, and that shocked me too somehow – the sharp clarity of my own voice.  I felt as though my hair was standing on end.

And then I noticed that for the first time in months the old aching exhaustion had left my body.

~

looking-without-labeling

22

she who was depressed is nowhere to be found:
looking-without-labeling left only sensation devoid of
owner or sad-sack story

the sensation called “depression” spoke only of
the utter exhaustion of a brain and a body

with the absence of she who was depressed,
(hmmm … make that she who wanted to not be depressed)
it’s crystal clear that the body/brain just wants rest

it just wants story-free peace

it just wants to sink into this womb of gentle healing,
this fountainhead of sweet Grace:

now-and-this-and-here

exactly as-it-is!

~